Rock, Paper, Scissors....SHOOT!

Just a few recent photos of my guys....
last one is typical coley....
blowing bubbles...
ALWAYS with gum in his mouth lately.
Happy weekend! xe

I love this kid...

So,
I'm making a grocery list this morning.
"J...go check and see if I have any dried basil"...

a few seconds later..

Jared-
"Ah..you guys have dried marijuana in here?!?"

ME---laughing...
"WHAT are you talking about?"

J-"OH... never mind...it's marjoram."

OMG..I laughed so hard,
I almost peed my pants.

Just a quick

pre-weekend post.....
Finished up my entry in Missy's cj...her theme was a fictional character I admire...
for some reason this became the most difficult theme...EVER.
NO idea why...
because honestly I LOVE the theme....
I love that I hadn't done it before..
So,
Gabby suggested half a millions things...
yes,
Strawberry Shortcake and Lilo were both contenders....
I think because of we share the same girlish figure...
or something like that...
BUT...
when it came down to doing it..
I went w/ my first thought when I heard the theme.
Martha Stewart.
Yep.
That folks is the fictional character I admire most...
you KNOW she's not real..
heeehee...
Oh, and I added Pam,
cuz.
I love Pam.
She makes me laugh.
Sorry Missy...
hope you don't hate me toooo much!

On the t-shirt front...
just my 2cents...after actually getting my shirts.
Go with the white and orange...
I loved the black online...and Jared will be sporting that one..
but the orange is better ;)
JUST my advice...and if your order is wrong when it arrives...
umm...
just call the 800 number and they'll fix it.
pronto.

Thankyou to everyone that has ordered.

Just wanted to post a tiny note about my husband.
When we found out I was pregnant with Jared....he was 18.
He missed out on a lot,
but I hope he'd say he gained a lot more.
He puts most Dads that wait, and plan, and do things the "right" way
to shame.
He is an incredible Daddy.
Love you Col.
Happy Father's Day...
xxe

WHOOHOOOO...

Love me some summer vacation...

sleeping in...
drinking iced tea...
grilling out...
watching the boys play baseball...
and run around the yard...
after dinner walks...
pineabus...
slip-and-slides...
ice cream trucks...
popsicles..
lemonade stands...
boys in too-cute-swim-trunks...
reading books outside....
tan lines...
grilled veggie sammies...
the beach...
hmmm....
what else??!?

on to other un-interesting...un-exciting...un-happy news...
my house is BACK on the market...
the buyers....or should i say "buyers" that we've been dealing with since March...
are "out of town"...
closing was the end of last month..
and they aren't back.
So...my realtor re-listed our house.
hmm...
makes me kind of vomitous...
but hopefully it will sell (again) quickly...
this double mortgage thing?!? It's nuts.
That, or we win the new powerball here with a quickness.
I'm sort of contemplating using their earnest money and going to disney world...not that I won't end up using it to pay bills..
but the idea of being at disney...on them...makes me
HAPPY. :)
bad buyer people.
bad.

*CUTE photos a la Gabby, (thanks gab...love them) from our trip to Wilmington.
Go US Nat'l team...anyone watching World Cup?!?!
(hopefully our guys improve slightly...)
I'm secretly cheering harder for England...
one guess why...
:)
go Becks.
xe

Wow....

When Nisa first emailed with her idea I was so touched,
so humbled, so overwhelmed....
Then to actually see what she's done...
how can it not take your breath away...
To see all the amazing talent that is taking part to support what we're doing?!
it just left me speechless...
I'm feeling so proud to be a part of this community right now.
To be surrounded by women that would rally around us and make us feel so loved..
that would volunteer their time, and their talent...
How do you ever say thank you enough for that?!
I love you all so very much....
You remind me that together...we can do BIG things.
xxxe

TENNIS...

...with a five year old...

please keep in mind....
i haven't played tennis since high school...and even then,
well, it wasn't pretty.
so, when jack mentioned wanting to play tennis..
i said sure buddy we'll go play tennis...(wink, wink)
after about the 100th mention of it..
i quite obviously had no choice but to go play.
(it's 90 here....by the way...)

here are some of my favorite quotes of the day...
(because, even if i were digi, i would have been too busy running after balls to take pics ;)...

jack- "i'm gonna whoop you."
me- "you are huh?"
jack- "well, i'm not weally gonna whoop you...it's a figure of speech.
it means i'm going to beat you."

jack- "mom...if you make your racquet go dis way you might get it over the net"

jack- "when you throw it up and hit it mom...that's called a serve."

me- "you're being awful critical of my play don't you think?"
jack-"what's that mean?"
me- "you're being kind of hard on me...and telling me what to do."
jack- "oh, yeah, just pwetend i'm your coach!"

jack- "mom, i thought you played before?!?"

jack- "if you hit it in the net again, then i get a point. that's how it works in mario tennis you know."

jack- "i'm pretty good at this...and i didn't even take lessons like you."

ETA: (I forgot this one, until a plane flew over us at baseball tonight) :)jack- "HEY mom! LOOK! An airplane!......(SMACK).....
HA! made ya look! miss..."

jack- "umm, you need to put the racket up...behind your head...like the professionals do"

all in all....it was lots of fun...hot sweaty fun...
but fun.
the ball only went over the fence once..
yes, you read that right...over the FENCE..
thank you jack. (we totally looked like professionals! yeah, we did...)

today was to be my first official get-off-your-butt-and-use-your-treadmill-day...however...after an hour and a half of ball chasing..
that's going to count...it just is.

On another, unrelated note...

it took jared a long time to figure out why i was calling him
"jared parker angel"....
but i think after finding this photo....
it's no longer confusing! HA!

happy tuesday that i keep thinking is a monday...xxe

Still more randomness...

So...
I was hoping to post a picture of the new coconut creamer I'm sipping in my coffee...but that seemed to difficult..
so just imagine it...
it's good.

Just a few things...

Memorial Day.
Time to remember our troops...appreciate all they do.
Never been more real since living in a military town.

Also I didn't thank Mara before..
HAD no idea you gave us that quote!
Thankyouthankyouthankyou...
and..
to Katie for the digital goodness...(that someday I will learn to use).
THANK you....so very much. Don't forget to get your shirts here ...
Gabby made sure there are shirts for kiddos,
and dogs too.... ;)
so you can outfit the whole fam....
OH...and Nisa has something amazing planned...so stay tuned.
(love that girl...yes, I do)

It's been a circle journal kinda weekend...
Erin and April expect mail.

Boys are slip-and-sliding today....
if only I had a digi!
it's HOT here......uck.
xxe
ps. oh, and Becca email me will you? (please) ewillard9@cox.net

Check it...

and then say "WOW"....

Gabby has been working hard on this ...
with help from the amazingly talented Jessica Sprague
(I can't thank you enough Jessica)...
A cool shirt, for a cool cause...what could be better?!?
xxe

To quote Gabby....

(because heck, it's been so long I've forgotten how to blog...)

All information about the July 15 run and the Alex DeVinny Memorial Foundation will be posted here....

And.. look for an exciting announcement later this week brought to you by the amazing talents of Jessica Sprague (<---THIS you'll want to see)

Hanni, the banner again I must say, is gorgeous.
Thank you all....
xe

For Erin....

So Miss Keener's last t-ball post....made me remember our last season.
I'm not really a baseball fan.
(at all)
BUT...when it's your kids playing...you'll cheer for them even if it's badmiton. (you will)
And there is something about the baseball outfits....they are so cute in them. The ugly polyester pants somehow look adorable...
the hats?!? omg....
and they chew gum, which just adds to the whole cute-factor for me...
then there is the actual game.
See, in soccer...the game is non-stop...
they run, and they run...and they run some more.
T-ball is different.
Outfield for a bunch of four year olds?!?!? FORGET IT.
It is hysterical.
Because they're bored, and they all want the ball.
Jack also had a little girl that thought he was hers.
So, they got in all kinds of trouble...
At first she thought he was a girl, because his hair was "too pretty"...
OF course she figured it out, the other parents...
"oh look at her...in't she sweet......
OH Lord, she can hit...did you see that little girl hit?!?!?
Come on sweetheart....bring it home...."
yeah...
The thing about Jack is...he really "gets the game"
He understands how it's suppose to work....
grant it, he's dealing with a whole bunch of kids that would rather dig in the sand...
but he is quite serious about the whole thing...
and he slides each and every time...
which makes me laugh outloud...
Colten is moving up to the "big kids" team this season...
so they won't be playing together for the first time.
I'm anxious for the season to start again....
I love the late nights at the ballfield...there's just something about it...
can't describe...
but i like it..
sans the second hand smoke.....
something i find really lovely about it.
SO, prepare for many new pictures in about a month....

I leave you w/ this easter shot...
you know,
i was just trying to get a cool in the mirror w/ the camera shot...
but i had a slight distraction...
yeah, i did. HA!!! xxxe

Random....

Gabby got us some kickass seats for the national team game....
Yeah she did....
we were THAT close ------->
we could almost touch them...
well not really.
nor could we take photos up close and personal, as both of our camera lenses were asked to leave the stadium...
BUT....Gabby got some good shots anyway....
I don't know what I got, because I'M NOT DIGITAL....
and it makes me a wee bit angry.
SO, I'll get those developed...
like next year sometime.
So big lenses not allowed into the game,
but bongos, horns, large flags and poles, and other items of interest.....those....
those were fine....
Yes, you can attempt to throw a flag pole at the players...just please...don't take their picture.
Logic...it's lost on me.
Good time though.
I love me some soccer men.
Hot.
hot.
very hot......

(and that shot of colten....my FAVORITE of the night....goofball)

Ok, in other news....

An e observation from yesterday.....
aka a note for the annoying moms I have to deal w/ at the boy's school....
Please when you go to an award ceremony at your child's school...do not assume that i will in fact think you are cool because you are saving the entire front row for your friends.
It's not that I'm not thrilled that you have an entire row of friends....it's just that they were not there yet...and well, I was....with my five year old who would have enjoyed being able to see.
Saving a seat for your husband, or sigificant other i think would be lovely...but placing your car keys, purse, paper, box of kleenex, lipstick, and hand...on several seats....well, it's sort of ridiculous...and e was not amused.
"Is this seat taken?"
"Yes...and that one...and that one...and that one..."
Yeah...
e may have rolled her eyes...
a little...
just a little....
and e is trying really hard not to do that toward the other mommys at school.
Really, she is.
(a kinder..gentler me....a kinder..gentler me)
And just so you realize i'm a bad bad mommy....I'm sharing THIS photo I got back of my ducks all in a row.....playing gameboy....I hate gameboy....

I am getting caught up...and it makes me HAPPY.
very happy.
Circle journal done.
WHEW...
I'm sure April is cursing at me....because it's technically done....but sans la mail-age...
Bad e ....bad e....
but it's coming....
and i swear i don't mean w/ Gabby next weekend...
Although I did suggest it to her ;) heehee..
Gabby express.....
I am having trouble scanning it....so it will just be a surprise...
(Yeah Jen, i have a feeling it's not really the scanner....it's more the scanner operator that's the issue).....
Scatterbrained I am...
Oh, and Jack took that picture of me....how funny is that?!
I hate pictures of myself....so I may have him take more..
i enjoy the way he cropped half my head out...
that maybe just what I need! HA!

Ok, In closing....
Happy Birthday Mara.
and
Happy EASTER everyone....
Prepare to be jealous when I post our easter feast....
YUM-O....
Gabby and I go all out......I can't WAIT!
xxe

JACK is taking over the BLOG.....

...and my scrap space ;)
(music video choice and artwork by Jack....)

Rumor has it, his mom might actually have some work to post a bit later....
xe

Make Small ART....

that's their motto anyway...
and I think it's a pretty good one.

a group of talented friends living in NYC...
most of which I went to high school with...
one which I'm proud to call a best friend...
they made a film..
about prom in our hometown...
it's pretty cool...
this is my shameless plug for that movie....
which is out on DVD today...
if nothing else...
check out OVO...
they're pretty cool...
(love you Karen)....

btw...HOW COOL WAS MY PROM???
(not the one in the movie...but well, you get the idea)
seriously....
xe

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY raves:
"In the affectionate documentary The World's Best Prom, members of the OVO art collective head to Racine, WI to capture their hometown's jittery excitement as the community gears up for this annual happening. They follow three very different seniors — a football player, Ben; a warmhearted artist, Tonya; and a frank Catholic schoolgirl, Dori — to the citywide prom, where teens from seven local high schools arrive in showy rides to glam it up on a red carpet. Prom captures their adolescent insight with wit and compassion. In cheddar's heartland, you might expect this full-on embrace of cheese, but you'll be surprised to find yourself cheering along."

Gorgeous boy....

I feel like I scrapbook this one more....but it's only because he's home with me...
and he's still at that age of ridiculous-ness & gives me fantastic quotes...
I wish I could go back and remember all the boys at this age...
I never wrote things down....too "busy".....thought I'd remember...
of course....
I don't....

His birthday was the day after Alex died.
It was very surreal that day for me.....
I wanted it to be as normal as possible because he'd looked so forward to it....
counting the days down for months....
and he had elaborate plans for us.
So..
we did them all.
The bowling...the lunch....the shopping at the skate shop....the movie....
it was ...absurd as it sounds.... a lovely day.
Just us....
my baby on his special day...
healing me without even realizing it.
Looking back I think....I should have mourned then....not celebrated....
but then I remember that time with Jack, and I know it was ok...

***ETA....Well....

it's now time for me to retire....

my five year old is turning out better layouts than i am...... ;) xxxe

OOOOO-K.....

Let's lighten the mood a bit....
I'm working on it...
I am.

So....here's a glimpse into how it's been around the house lately....

Jared has informed me that laundry...is not an option.
hmm....
something about underwear...
and him needing it.
?
something about I'm suppose to "wash what is in the dirty pile"...
hmmm....
the expectations around this place haven't let up I tell you.

i however think that my subdued personality has been nice for somethings...
like say for instance...
the marathon recorder jam sessions that have been taking place in my home...
you heard that right...
the recorder.
merrily we row along, old mcdonald...
yeah....really, nothing like an eleven year old on the recorder to remind you how important a sense of humor really is.

speaking of sense of humor....
a story for you before i sign off...
because while most people have then occasional "jessica moment"...i have them daily.
SO....we're at the service in Racine....and afterwards they have a "reception" or something,
i don't really get it...because
a. you're not hungry, and
b. you don't really want to talk to a bunch of people you hardly know or remember.....
but it's nice i suppose....
so we're there, and i'm thinking i should go talk to Alex's coach again before he leaves,
to get contact information, etc...for the race...
he was standing next to a man and woman, but they weren't talking...
so I go over to him....
we start talking...
we realize we went to school together....
(cut me a little slack, there were like 500 in my class, and he was a year older or younger)
soo, he's saying
"you wouldn't remember me, i was skinny and dorky, and took some dumb classes"....
this is where the story picks up...
so in an effort to make him feel better (ok, and also because it's true)
I say.....
SO eloquently...
"OH, I took stupid classes too....like sports lit"
yep, that is what i said.
The woman pipes in (the one still standing there w/ her husband)
"Oh...that's what my husband teaches"
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
So, now you realize....I'm completely embarrassed, and when this happens, instead of just letting it go....I have to try and make up for it by talking....in fact...i can't stop....
so...I continue....
thus...making it that much worse.....
"OH, WELL, I LOVED sports lit....it was the best class ever....I mean, why would you take smart classes like AP English, when you could take sports lit (yep, i said that...omg)....I loved writing papers about sports...it was the best"
DUH!
What the.....?!?!
Ok, so there you go.
even at a funeral....I can manage to make a complete ass out of myself.
It's a gift really.

Last, but not least...
I got this email last week....

"You have a choice Erika, and I'm sure you'll make the right one. Choose to remember the best of Alex, not the end. There was no happy ending, but she did have one hell of a plot, story-line and page-turning life. Just remember the good parts. I can't promise you your healing will go quick, but I can promise you that you will feel better....about yourself and about your memories of Alex. Your a very special person, and making yourself feel bad about Alex is not going to help anyone, including yourself. Instead, do a little more to make others feel better and you'll feel better about yourself. Tell them how much you care...."
(Thankyou Dan)

So, to everyone...thank you....Kirsten you are an angel.....Missy, Erin, April...miss Charmer....everyone that made cards for us, ...that emailed......just the words you have given me, they've helped so very much.
I've read and re-read them all.... my mantel is a very happy place right now....
I feel so blessed. xxxe

ps.
We sold our house.

pps.
If anyone knows anything about road races.....ANYTHING....please email me....
Gabby and I are working on it...and we don't want to miss anything important...
like today we realized we needed a timer...
the two of us w/ stop watches just won't cut it....;)
ahhh-yah.....
(i am not a runner folks....)

Al...

I hope....
you know now that I wish I'd taken you back with me in October...
I wish I'd tried...
I hope you know it was because I didn't think it would help...
not because I didn't love you..
I hope...
you know that I was angry out of frustration...
not at you....
I hope you know that I loved you.
That I feel guity...
guilty...
we hadn't spoken since then...
guilty....
that I'm sure you died hating me...
not understanding my actions...
my words....
I hope...
you know it breaks my heart...
over and over and over again...
I hope...
you know the truth now...
I think you must...
I hope...

love these girls....xxxe

NIKEgoddess

The back view of Nike, Goddess of victory, Dvorak Hall(Rudolfinum), Prague, Czech Republic.

Thank you Karen

In one of the stars
I shall be living
In one of them
I shall be laughing
And so it will be
as if all the stars
were laughing
when you look
at the sky at night

~The Little Prince
Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Alex

The race that Alex DeVinny had with life was cut short by her long-time rival, anorexia nervosa. She lost that race on Sunday, March 5, 2006, when her large and generous heart just stopped beating. She was 20 years old. Alex was born in Racine on October 14, 1985, to Doug and Lana DeVinny. During her brief two decades, she touched many people with her intelligence, humor, courage, and athletic ability. She was recognized as a runner of rare athletic ability, who set course records throughout the state, winning the state championship in the 3200 M race in her junior year. But more than a fine athlete, she excelled academically, graduating with honors from Park High School in 2004 and recruited by many universities. Unfortunately, she was unable to attend as the eating disorder became more controlling. Her love of books, popular culture, Nike apparel, and Steve Madden shoes was legendary. She was also a talented Artist whose interest was in making jewelry created with her handmade lamp work beads. As an eighth grader, she was awarded a WCATY (Wisconsin Center for Academically Talented Youth) Grant to pursue research in hot glass bead making. Most importantly, Alex was a kind, honest, and generous human being, who cared deeply for her family and friends, as well as for social issues and environment. She will forever be missed by the people she touched, but especially by her family. In addition to her parents, Doug and Lana DeVinny of Racine, her survivors include her sisters, Gabrielle (Michael) Fekete of Cary, N.C. and Erika (Colin) Willard of Greenville, N.C.; her nephews, Jared, Colten, and Jack Willard; and numerous aunts, uncles, and cousins throughout the United States. Her two four-legged friends, Baby and Nike are still waiting for her to come home. The service celebrating Alex's life will be held at Mount Pleasant Lutheran Church, 1700 South Green Bay Road, on Saturday, March 11, 2006, at 10:30 a.m. with Rev. Kara F. Baylor officiating. Burial will take place at Graceland Cemetery on Monday, March 13, 2006, at 10:30 a.m. Family and friends are invited to meet in the Draeger-Langendorf Funeral Home on Friday evening from 5 until 8 p.m. for a public visitation. There will also be a visitation in the church on Saturday from 9:30 until 10:30 a.m. In lieu of flowers, memorials may be made to the family, who will establish something in Alex's name at a later time. Her family wishes to thank the brave efforts of the ER and Intensive Care Unit of All Saints - St. Mary's Medical Center to save Alex's life, especially the caring and skilled nurses, Kerri and Mary Jo. They would also like to encourage those who work in law enforcement, human services, and the justice system to think seriously about the victims of anorexia nervosa and make the effort to care for them in a way that would treat the disorder rather than punish the victim.


Thank you to all of you.
For your prayers and friendship during this time.
It was an incredibly hard week...but the anger is gone, and the good memories have returned.
They were gone for so long...it's nice to have them back.
I missed them so...

Please take some time and read about my sister-
here and here.....

The visitation was amazing.
The line literally wrapped around, and around, and out the door....
So many young girls came through the line and simply said "I didn't know your sister well, but I knew of her, and this is my wake up call. I've been suffering with an eating disorder for years." Cross Country and Track teams from every school from all around the county were there, as a team....coaches as well.

Alex didn't know she touched that many people, of this I'm sure.
I know she felt alone, I know she didn't think anyone cared, including me.
I wish she knew.
I wish we could have had some magic that would have given her the chance to feel the love we all felt on Friday.
Some way she could have seen what we did that day.

Gabby and I are organizing a memorial run this summer.
In her honor.
With the help of her high school coach....
who said...
"I was going to quit coaching after this year...but now I'm going to keep going...because I know I can help someone...I just wish I could have helped Alex."
We want to raise money for awareness...
We need to help others, where we tried to help Alex.
Please plan on coming....
if you can.
I know I speak for Gabby when I say we'd be honored.
I know I speak for Alex when I say she'd be so very very touched.

Thank you.
Love-Erika

ps. Please give Gabby some love right now, things unfortunately became even worse for us all on Saturday. I'll let her explain...but she could use some support.

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack....
sort of.
:)
things are SO chaotic here....
boxes EVERYWHERE...

here are some things that make me sort of want to puke...
-the boys started school today....public school....
Coley of course wore his mohawk up....which of course makes me, the girl that would have preferred to blend in w/ the linoleum at that age a bit nervous for him....so hopefully things will go wonderfully and they will have nothing but good things to report tonight...
-i still have no email...
-we still have yet to sell our house.....
-the before mentioned boxes have to fit in closets the size of my pinky toenail...
what is it w/ older homes and closet space i ask you??? small....
-i'm going out to dinner w/ my husband's boss tonight (yeah, that's a good one....perhaps that should be closer to the TOP of the list of pukage)
-the shitters full was a theme the first few days upon move-in...as the toilets didn't work....
i made the boys pee outside....classy, yes, i know. Jared went out at night one night, and didn't realize the lights are motion sensitive...so he's peeing away, and the lights come on... ;)
(the toilets work now....the city worked until 1am the other night fixing them....lovely.)

and some things that are making me smile....
-my boys love the yard....there is a swing set, and trees for climbing....and a basketball hoop.
-I love the neighborhood
-i found my coffee pot

Gabby came saturday, and i got a chance to see all the vegas pics....got some goodies....and had a chance to hang out... that was awesome....

and most importantly....
OLD BABY IS FOUND!!!!!

That my friends was the most stressful few days....
but thanks to Gabby's blog, and your positive thoughts.....old baby is now safe and sound.
Actually old baby is a cape right now, jack is standing here talking to me....
i'm doing an old baby page at some point, but let me tell you...
i felt like the worst mommy EVER letting that blanket out of sight....
just long enough for the movers to shove it in a box.
it was HORRIBLE.
(*btw. old baby is "old" baby because it was just baby, until i decided to buy a new baby to replace the ratty baby....jack in his two year old voice at the time informed me, that he "DID NOT YIKE DAT NEW BABY!" he only liked his "OLD baby!"
and that is how old baby got it's name) the end. I've missed you all.....hopefully i'll be back in full force SOON. xe