Wednesday, May 09, 2007

Maturation information

So, part of being the parent of a preteen here is going to the introduction meeting for the maturation program that is being presented to the 6th graders.
Let me start by saying that I realized instantly I was not mature enough to attend said meeting when I walked in the room with the anatomically correct girls/boys/men/women posters,
and the man wearing the white lab coat
and I wanted to burst out in hysterical laughter.
Not so much because of the nudes, frankly I've taken my share of life drawing, and that doesn't phase me...it was the posters, the labman, and the very straight-laced parents attending....
It was just a Saturday Night Live skit waiting to happen....
I turned to my husband and pleaded with him to just not make eye contact with me.
I managed to hold it together despite the "uncooked hot dog" and "draining the dirty bathwater" analogies.
(Hello? They are in 6th grade)
I kept a straight face when he explained that he wanted the kids to know the correct terms, not the street terms, and so he is going to have them shout the words out and "high five their neighbor". Picturing the look on my son's face when he's told to yell out pubic hair while high fiving his buddy....yeah, that was kind of giggle worthy, but I refrained.
What almost did me in however were the parent questions.
I'm fairly confident that most 6th graders could come up with more intelligent questions for lab coat man.
Their main concern seemed to be that the instructor wasn't talking enough about sex.
I found this odd...but listened intently as the instructor explained that the program is designed to address body changes, not sex....only to have someone else raise their hand to ask a similar question about...sex.
My favorite being that the instructor was too vague on how the sperm might in fact make it to the uterus.
Seriously?

Jared was overjoyed we attended the meeting....
and REALLY was just loving my commentary afterwards.
I asked if he wanted me to sit in on the lecture next week.
He declined my offer.

Otherwise things are ok here in Ohio.
Now that the weather is warmer, I'm feeling less vitamin D deficient and anti-social.
I kid, I kid, but Sunlight...it's a good thing.
I really intended when we moved to update this daily, or close to it...
But I'm failing miserably.
I will work on that. xe

*Thank you too for all the sweet words about my last post. I'll update as things progress (or don't).

9 comments:

essie said...

I miss you!

am I allowed to whine?

we got orders today-head overseas on the 8th of August...

btw, I really like this music? How hip are you?!!

Happy early Mother's Day
xoxox
e2

cheryl said...

LMAO - love the visual of the pubic hair high five. TOO funny. You KILL me!

Marmot said...

high fives?
seriously?
you're more mature than me if you didn't giggle :)

gabbyfek said...

dude
i'm still giggling from you telling me this story yesterday
too
freaking
funny.
lub you.
xoxoxoxo.

*~*Jocelynne*~* said...

When I was in high school health class, we were doing the section on reproduction, etc and the teacher told us that he couldn't actually 'teach' about sex, but could answer students' questions about it. LAME! Anyway, the kids got around it by asking everything they could think of.

Did they have the boys' maturation and girls' maturation programs separately? They did at my school. 6th might be young for learning what goes on with the boys vs girls, but I definitely think a more regular program is needed. Maybe in jr high. Or is 6th grade considered middle school there?

Ok, I'm quite chatty today. Despite the maturation program, and my mom *thinking* she informed us (which she DIDN'T AT ALL) I wasn't prepared for what was going to happen. I mean, I thought a rolled up piece of t.p. would catch all that stuff. But it was that or the thickest pads my mom could find...talk about horrible!!! lol

~*AMY*~ said...

oh.my.gosh
this is the funniest thing ever
my son would totally crawl
under the desks!!!!

sarah said...

how did I miss this gem of a post?!
shouting and high fives?
oh that's just TOO funny!
and yeah...you = more mature than me.
I'd have been giggling.
a lot.
:)

RACHEL =) said...

Ohhhh, wow... I would not have been able to contain myself, Erika!!! You are SO funny... love your visuals!!!

Hope you had a GREAT Mother's Day :)

stephaniehowell said...

okay, i am laughing so hard right now
and DREADING having to deal with this in 12 years.
i would have been doing the silent church laughter
where you bite either your hand or the inside of your cheek
and shake
while tears run down your face.