The little lights... they aren't twinkling.

I am absolutely positive that this is exactly what my grandpa had imagined when he mailed the Lionel train to the boys back in Fayetteville... I wish he could have gotten a chance to see them....
little boys and trains. quite possibly the best combination ever.
I told Colin last night that what would have given him the biggest kick was when I asked Colten what all the army men were for....
"Oh, you know... for cowboys and indians. I'm tying them to the tracks and letting the train run over them..."
Yep. perfect.

we put the Christmas tree up yesterday.
even though Jared informed us a dozen times that it wasn't even thanksgiving yet and that we were nuts.
in my defense we will be gone next weekend....and I am all about the tree.
so I would much rather have an extra week, than be a week short in tree-love.

we were just happy to get to see Jared, even a whiny Jared....
Jared hasn't been spending much time on the weekends home with us.
why?Jared met Maty.
it was bound to happen....but I can tell you we miss having him around.
she is just gorgeous. goodness.
and such a sweet sweet girl ...
and it's a group of them. not just a two of them. which makes me feel better...

he's still my widdle tiny baby though, ok? let's just pretend....

so the tree.
is up.
I mentioned that. what I didn't mention is that Colten went to turn the lights on this morning and....
nothing.
no, I lie. one strand will light up.
yeah.

Clark: Russ, we checked every bulb, didn't we?
Rusty: Sure, Dad.
Clark: Hmm... Maybe we ought to just go up there and check...
Rusty: Oh, woo. Look at the time. I gotta get to bed. I still gotta brush my teeth, feed the hog, still got some homework to do, still got those bills to pay, wash the car...

Colin is going to miraculously fix it tonight because I can't even think about taking all the ornaments off and re-doing the tree.
nope.
can not go there.

Spent the morning at Jack's school. They had a hoe-down.
I was suppose to dress up in "western wear"...
I wore a black shirt.
not very festive of me....I know.
the best part. they had a relay race that involved dressing up....so you quickly had to change and put all these big clothes on top of your own.
leave it to my child to pull off his own pants.
poor Jack.
luckily he laughed.
(and pulled his pants back up)
also lucky for him he wears boxers, and they didn't come off.
whew.

Ok, off to organize for our trip NC. we leave Wednesday!
I.can.not.wait.

Boo!

Jack "ooooh...It scared me again. I look outside and see Coley's helmet, and it SCARES me momma! I think it's a person with a mask on!"
well.
I never noticed that before....but it's startled me now a few times today.
thanks for pointing that out buddy....

For my friend KP

crowdSPRING, hire Kelly Purkey for your new Community Marketing Manager!

she is an amazing talent and would be a huge asset to your company for sure.
good luck Kelly!

Lemme see ya grill

Jack got the best party favors ever at a birthday party last weekend.....
these fabulous glasses.
and a grill...
seriously...if you could have only seen all the small children with their grillz.
quite the hilarity...
Urban Dictionary:
Grill
An oral insert which can tend to cause cold fronts when deep breaths are taken in through the mouth, as well as creating a disco ball type appearance of the orifice. May cause hood rats to constantly ask to see your grill, yeah, yeah, your grill.

however we have found it can also make you look more like a hillbilly and less like a gangsta....

example of when good grillz go bad...
ha! love it.

My hands are small I know...

Last Christmas a new family tradition began. thanks to the boy's Gaga.
a World Vision gift catalog, and $25 each to spend however they want, to help someone in need.
goats and chickens, clean water, AIDs relief, blankets, malaria protection, basketballs, soccer balls, and school supplies. how to spend "their money" becomes quite the decision, and one that not taken lightly.
Colten already decided this year on the fishing kit for $40. (he is going in with me, and we are giving our extra $10 to Jack)
Jared has not decided.
and Jack,
well, Jack is debating..... he spent the morning reading out loud the descriptions of each item.
doing his very best to sound out words like
"impoverished", "contaminated", "purification",
"poverty", "adequate", "nutrients",
"opportunity", and "potential"... he thinks he might get animals, but the "bicycle for a girl" caught his eye this morning, as he explained that then "she can't get kidnapped as easily on her way to school"....
this honestly has become one of my favorite parts of the season.
at a time when talk of the economy is great...
it's important to put it into perspective.
we have shelter
we have food
we have heat
we have our health...
and it's important for the boys to know that while some have more...
a great great many have so very much less.

If I could tell the world just one thing
It would be that we're all ok
And not to worry 'cause worry is wasteful
And useless in times like these
I won't be made useless
I won't be idle with despair
I will gather myself around my faith
For light does the darkness most fear
My hands are small, I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
...
We are never broken
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's mind
We are God's hands
We are God's hands

-Jewel (Hands)

the Sun is Out...

what is that?
that little purple spot?

that
is a sticky ball stuck to my ceiling.these are the kind of things that amuse boys.
throwing things that stick up on the ceiling when I'm not looking.
I finally noticed today guys. thanks.
one of these times, I'm not going to notice it until it drops on my head,

and I pee my pants.

which I think is what they're really going for....

adorable.overheard yesterday.

"what is your favorite letter?" -Colten

"J" -Jack

"you can't pick the letter that your name starts with" -Colten

"umm. then C.... what is yours?" -Jack

"S" -Colten

"say J" -Jack

"no, I like S" -Colten

"and J?" -Jack

"no, just S" -Colten

Jack -"mom, I want a watch for Christmas. I can tell time though, so it can just be a regular one (not digital) like a gold one with diamonds. I need a little bling."

In sweats again....

I've decided that I have set the bar way too high.
and now I must lower it.

1. learn to sew. I've whined about it for years. now I just need to get a machine, and learn. buy a sewing machine.
2. sew a quilt. lets just skip this one completely shall we...
3. learn to make really good homemade pizza (dough)....and make it a friday night tradition. bagel pizza are delicious, and semi-homemade.
4. family movie/game night. start it up again. complete with a concession stand and tickets. just like in the ville. they're older now, but I know they'll still secretly love it. ok, I can't strike this one, because we did this last weekend. 2 points on the board for e.
5. camp. buy the tents. and go. no more excuses.(ok, money is a good excuse, but we need to save and then go) lets start there shall we.
6. find an organic farm to buy meat in bulk from...or at least a family farm that farms like my grandpa did...I want to see cows roaming, and chickens out being chickens. ignore all of your gut instincts and buy the meat at the grocery.
7. buy a big ol' freezer for #6. then I can also double meals and freeze for busy nights. save money by not purchasing big freezer. nice.
8. learn to make pancakes. Colin is the breakfast cook....but I want to learn. let Col make breakfast... he is good at it.
9. learn to knit. buy some sweaters. pre-knit.
10. simplify...purge even more. get down to the bare essentials. no more "stuff" in boxes in the attic and garage... can't argue with this one. (unfortunately)
11. journal every day.
12. take the house designs and ideas floating in my head, and get it on paper. keep reading magazines with good room designs. attempt to remember them all and someday afford them.
13. paint...that map I want for the boys room. make it happen. buy an extra canvas, and let Jack join in. continue watching Jack make art.
14. grow orchids. purchase some, and learn to make them grow (and thrive) in my house. something.
15. get a pet. I say pet because the boys (all four) want a dog. I'm leaning toward cat, but they've been patient, so this may be the year... I just have to pull the trigger as Colin would say. remark at what a great pet SharkBait the goldfish really is...
16. do not exercise. no more excuses. just do it. hate it, and do it.
17. lose 36 lbs. (it should be more, but 36 seems to be the theme, so I'm going with that) gain at least 10lbs over the upcoming holidays.
18. pray about our next move. do it right. make sure it's where we want to be for a long time.
19. write more letters. real letters. that go in the mailbox. try and get Christmas cards out this year.
20. get the photos printed. in albums. seriously.
21. have baby number four, or don't. no more debating. I'm getting too old.
22. buy the house of our dreams next. (read that as it should be read...not expensive and huge, but on land....with character and potential) worry about selling this house. because that's productive... (not)
23. read more. for some reason I read voraciously in the summer and then not so much during the rest of the year. why? I don't know. us weekly, people, living, newsweek and money magazine will all count.
24. start a word of the week. post it, learn it, use it everyday....work it into my vocabulary...Jack will love it, and I definitely need it. I think fabulous, awesome, and great work just fine..
25. read the bible more.
26. post a scripture of the week.
27. eat better. cleaner. limit meat. cook every night.
28. take a vacation as a family. our five. somewhere. together. now please.
29. steal an overnight away with just Col. (even if it's just a hotel here in town) now please.
30. paint the bedrooms. yeah, ok, I need to do this.
31. work on being mindful of my words.
32. work on patience.
33. have people over for dinner more. this might involve meeting friends here...or moving move soon.
34. dress up more. quit being such a slob. debate wearing your pjs to drop off the kids at school this morning as you're running late. then debate whether or not that would actually cause you to have an accident that would result in having to get out of the car....
35. take a self portrait weekly. and make an effort to be in more photos of our daily. even fat.... hand Jack or Colten the camera, they love it. skip.
36.save. save. save. buy second hand. buy handmade. be conscience of where our money goes. except when it comes to Starbucks then pay a ridiculous amount for coffee

there. much better.
kidding, kidding.
the old list stands, I was just trying to make myself feel more productive...
this week I tell you. not been my favorite in the history of weeks.
today I got the kids to school on time though. (I re-wrote my 36 yesterday, hence #34).
forgot to dry Jack's hair last night before bed, so he has some crazy big hair today.
quite the bouffant.
had a dream I had a baby last night. named Petunia. woke up thinking Petunia? seriously?
watched Sarah Palin on Today this morning. today this morning...that's amusing to me.
did laundry. still doing laundry.
still rainy, gray, and cold.
turned the heat on finally. boo.
clearly going to be vitamin D deficient soon. sun. where. are. you?
answered the phone 4 times. all solicitors. why?
anxiously awaiting thanksgiving and NC with Gabby, Mike, Ev and Maxwell.
can't wait to see them.
and the food. excited about the food too. not going to lie about that....
need a new book. can't get into Host. really like the Twilight series, but not feeling the Host.
Jared liked it.
I'm trying...
maybe that's the problem. I shouldn't read the same books as my fourteen year old son.
hmmm.
loved that Jared was horrified I was in sweats yesterday when he got home from school.
actually I think he was horrified I got dressed, came home, put sweats on, got dressed again, went to swim lessons, came home, and put sweats on again.
that's normal right?
also love that Jack gets points taken off on homework and assignments for not showing work.
even though the answer is right.
should he not get extra credit? really.
is it too soon to put the christmas tree up this weekend?
ok.
I should go clean. I'm not even sure what I'm writing anymore....

Eat some Chicago pizza for me....

Dear Colin,
I forgot to set the alarm this morning. Completely forgot it. As in did not even try to set it. I can not blame the alarm for a second. (which is unfortunate, because I'd really like to)
As you can see, I am not doing well without you here.
I can not even get the kids to school on time.
Well, I got 2 out of 3 to school on time, but barely. and I think Colten forgot to brush his teeth. (this is particularly ironic, because you don't normally help me at all in the morning, but you do wake me up. and that is key)
I told Jack to tell the teacher that his mommy forgot to set the alarm because she's a bad mom.
Jack said "I will just tell her that my mommy is a good mom, she just forgot to set the alarm today."
That made me happy.
We miss you. Call me tonight and I will tell you if Jack throws up in the pool during swim lessons. And if Colten says that he will never do it again. (place your bets now babe)
I love you.

so what...I'm still a Rockstar....

blah.
my husband left for Chicago this morning...
it's gray
and rainy
and cold...
and I'm feeling kind of like I should have just stayed in bed, and hoped for a better tomorrow.
but I'm up. I am up.
(insert sunny sarcastic smile here)
and although I'm a little lot whiny...
I was friendly at WalMart. (which on a normal day is challenging for me)
I had a moment of wishing I knew someone here....anyone...a friend.
I hate that I know in advance that I won't run into anyone I know while I'm out. there will be no chance meeting...
no spontaneous coffee or lunch....
and sometimes that sucks. normally I don't care. but sometimes. I do.
I was not friendly at the gas station however.
I might have had one minor eff-bomb-holy-cow-what-is-that-person-doing-moment...so I pulled into a spot and put myself in timeout.
sometimes it's hard to be the best driver in the world.
I kid.
sadly while I was frustrated with the woman in front of me, it dawned on me that it had been so long since I'd filled the truck up myself I couldn't in that moment remember what side the gas cap was on. nice. so the timeout was two fold.
and really $1.82 a gallon should have cheered me up.... but. it. didn't.

SO. I'm going to now post happy things.
happy mail things.
I would recommend everyone get an Esther.
she's beautiful, fabulous, smart, and funny. she could cheer up the crankiest of cranks.
and she sends killer boxes of love via the mail. everyone should be lucky enough to get German candy sent to them monthly...it's heaven.
btw the treehouse really loved the peach gummies.(lots)

and HUGE shocking mail-love arrived last week.....my circle journal arrived home. I know...crazy, huh?
just so you can fully grasp the magnitude of this greatness....
when I started this circle journal, and last saw it...I was 32.
(I only know this because my "sign-in tag" says so)
pretty cool huh? (I just turned, count em...36)
(look at baby connor missy! awww....)
so thank you for that little huge surprise Jessica.

and I was tagged by Shaun.

the rules...
1. link to person who has tagged you
2. post the rules on your blog
3. write 6 random things about yourself
4. let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog

I think I define random...so here goes.

1. I am a certified scuba diver. not that I've done anything with that certification since having kids, but I am...
2. I've always known that my calling in life was to be a mother.
3. I am the queen of all who procrastinate. queen.
4. I would be a vegetarian in a nanosecond, if my husband wasn't so carnivorous. although I would miss the occasional filet...
5. I have always secretly wanted to have so many kids I could fill one of those huge vans... minus the denim jumpers and 80s bangs....thankyou.
6. I have always had a love affair with harleys. (CHiPs was my very favorite show when I was little, cut me some slack) I rode bikes super fast with crazy boys when I was younger, and luckily survived. now I just really want one for date nights with my husband.

I'm tagging Gabby. because dude, you need to update your blog. this auntie needs some evan. and if it's it takes random to get it...then so be it.

now it's dark out, and my boys are still out playing...so I'd better go find them. I really need one of those big bells that you ring to let your kids know it's dinner-time. hmm...where might one find one of those...
alright. that's all I've got for this Monday that definitely for sure is a Monday...

idk my bff jill

the phone rings this morning, after Jared and Cole had left for school.
Jared. "Mom. Hey, I uh forgot that permission slip for career orientation and it's due today."
me "ok"
Jared "turn your cell phone on so I can text you, I can't walk into TLC talking on the phone."
so,
I turn my cell phone on.
2 seconds later.
text. "Hey im supposed to have those sheets 4 career orientation"
hmm.
here is the logic of teendom that escapes me....
a. he just told me that on the phone.
b. he couldn't talk on the phone during TLC, but apparently he thought texting would be acceptable.
c. he could have waited for 2 seconds for me to say "I will drop the form off after I take Jack to school"
instead I had to text that reply.
actually I believe I texted something along the lines of
"there is nothing I would love to do more my son then drop off your permission slip."
actually it pains me to text, and I really do spell out most words, and sometimes have to text Jared back when he does things like idk because ironically I didn't know what that meant....
his phone is great for texting though, it has a whole keyboard. mine. not. so. much.

that horrid photo (featuring my neck fat) is from wednesday.
the first wednesday of each month is "wacky wednesday"...
if you scored well on the benchmark (year-end state) test last year, you get to check out of school early.
if not, you get to go learn things specific to the test.
teach to test you know.
I think maybe some teen logic came into play when this concept was decided upon.
it was probably decided by text.

wot cn we do 2 punish the kids tht dnt test well?
let the smart ones leave early. tht will show um. lol.
good idea. lol! ttyl

(I'm kidding, and I'm sure I just slaughtered teenage text....Jared will correct it, I am sure)

in any case....
Jared came home early and we watched some tv.
it's rough to be fourteen and clearly already know everything ...

ETA: I should add that he did text me to thank me for dropping his permission slip off. which was very sweet....

9:23

ETA*photo of the boys pumpkins... (l-r pumpkins designed and carved by: Colten, Jack and Jared)

last night was tons of fun...
we ended up being total whiskey tango
(thank you Darcy for coining that phrase....I use it all the time)
and went trick-or-treating in a completely different neighborhood then our own.
(first time we've ever done that)
Colin was invited into the neighborhood however,
and we didn't drive our kids up to each house,
let them out,
and then let them jump back in...
so, somewhat better...right?!?....

Jack's costume got done.
my fingers still hurt....but it didn't fall apart while he was treating,
which was my nightmare concern...
so that was a good thing.

The helmet...didn't even make my 15minute prediction.
he wore it for photos, and to one house. one.

Coley went with last years costume.
Again, I'm thankful the fake piercings are kind of uncomfortable...
very much discouraging any of the real variety...

he is so very handsome, even in black eyeliner...
and
he has a much great appreciation for woman after having it applied.
("I don't know why girls do this!")no costume necessary for the Jared...he is scary enough.we ended up trick-or-treating with some friends Colin works with, and their little girls (2 and 6)
so much fun going with a little one. I loved watching her run so fast you weren't sure how her little legs did it, trying so hard to keep up...
and checking her bag oh-so-carefully after each house just to see what she'd gotten...
adorable.

afterwards we dropped Jared off at his party. and the rest of us went home for chili and apples with caramel and toppings to dip in....so good....Jared's party went until midnight officially making me old because I was asleep way before then.

today has been a totally delightful lazy fest of nothingness.... we slept in, hung out, played board games, watched the Chelsea game, the Wisconsin game, and ate some delicious Deen brother's food..... no soccer tournament after 3 or 4 weekends worth of them.....a happy happy thing.