Tuesday, October 14, 2008

23

lets pretend that's a cheesecake.
ok.
it actually is a cheesecake.
something lovingly called a no-bake cheesecake.
who knew?!
after the cheesecake fiasco on Jared's birthday...
I decided that this one needed to be edible.
and it's going to look somewhat more attractive with some fresh strawberries....
I think...

actually truth be told,
I'm not a huge cheesecake fan.
with the exception of the crack called cheesecake that is the Cheesecake Factory.
but
Alex was a huge fan of cheesecake.
I think I can safely say it was her very favorite.
Jared is quick to remind me that Aunt Alex made some terrific cheesecakes.
snickers bar....
caramel and fudge....
oreo.....
needless to say it thrills me beyond belief that Jared shares his Aunt's love of cheesecake.
they were close.

I wish she'd been able to teach me her mad-cheesecake-making-skillz.
we talked about that in September,
one of the last conversations I had with her.
around Jared's birthday.
yet another cheesecake made by me, gone horribly wrong.
she promised to get better, and to come help me make cheesecake for Jared's next birthday.
it's funny how you remember those last few conversations.
the good ones.
we talked about cheesecake.
and baby names. (she loved names almost as much as me)
blogging and etsy.
etsy...she would have made a killing selling her jewelry there.

anyway.
so it's not a pretty cheesecake.
or probably a very tasty cheesecake.
but today is Alex's birthday.
she would have been 23 today.
so after dinner we will be having a little treat,
to celebrate Alex's day.
to honor her life.

if there is one thing I try to do,
it is to make sure my kids know they can talk about Alex without upsetting me.
without worrying about making me sad.
I want them to be able to remember,
and laugh,
and talk.
and know that it makes me happy to remember.
that I like hearing their memories,
and I know they like hearing mine.
I don't want them to be afraid.
so it is,
and will be
cheesecake
on October 14th.
for Alex.
so that they remember.
because I won't forget.

11 comments:

sarah said...

lots to love about this post.

love that you made a no-bake cheesecake. alex probably would have loved that ;)

love how your family continues to honor her life.

love that you're showing your boys not to be afraid, but instead to talk and enjoy and share stories and laugh and remember their aunt.

love to you today!

Missy said...

I'm thinking of all of you today.
And I need to make you a cheesecake.

pakosta said...

that is great that you can remember and honor your sister. i am still so sad for you that she is gone. she may be gone, but like you said, can never be forgotten...
hugs to you today.
tara

Jason Ebeling said...

Just so you know....I think about her and you guys often when I wear the shirt from Alex's run you gave me. You're a great mom teaching great lessons. Thanks.

essie said...

I love you, e.

I'm raising my fork...

gabbyfek said...

you are quite simply...
incredible.
i love you.
xoxoxox.

Mara said...

that is a lovely cheesecake.
alex is proud of your efforts.
lots of love, dear one.
xo.

Karoline said...

No-bake or not, cheesecake is one of the best things in life. Happy Belated Birthday, Alex. Next year I will make you a cake, too!

Beth said...

Absolutely beautiful.

meghan said...

Tears in my eyes from this post and I love how you remember the details like the cheesecake conversation and so much love in your family. I think it is so wonderful how you honor Alex's life, you are such a beautiful person E.
xxoo

~*AMY*~ said...

tears streaming down my face here...this post is beautiful

it's beautiful that you honor her life...and that you show the boys it's ok to remember and share stories of alex