23

lets pretend that's a cheesecake.
ok.
it actually is a cheesecake.
something lovingly called a no-bake cheesecake.
who knew?!
after the cheesecake fiasco on Jared's birthday...
I decided that this one needed to be edible.
and it's going to look somewhat more attractive with some fresh strawberries....
I think...

actually truth be told,
I'm not a huge cheesecake fan.
with the exception of the crack called cheesecake that is the Cheesecake Factory.
but
Alex was a huge fan of cheesecake.
I think I can safely say it was her very favorite.
Jared is quick to remind me that Aunt Alex made some terrific cheesecakes.
snickers bar....
caramel and fudge....
oreo.....
needless to say it thrills me beyond belief that Jared shares his Aunt's love of cheesecake.
they were close.

I wish she'd been able to teach me her mad-cheesecake-making-skillz.
we talked about that in September,
one of the last conversations I had with her.
around Jared's birthday.
yet another cheesecake made by me, gone horribly wrong.
she promised to get better, and to come help me make cheesecake for Jared's next birthday.
it's funny how you remember those last few conversations.
the good ones.
we talked about cheesecake.
and baby names. (she loved names almost as much as me)
blogging and etsy.
etsy...she would have made a killing selling her jewelry there.

anyway.
so it's not a pretty cheesecake.
or probably a very tasty cheesecake.
but today is Alex's birthday.
she would have been 23 today.
so after dinner we will be having a little treat,
to celebrate Alex's day.
to honor her life.

if there is one thing I try to do,
it is to make sure my kids know they can talk about Alex without upsetting me.
without worrying about making me sad.
I want them to be able to remember,
and laugh,
and talk.
and know that it makes me happy to remember.
that I like hearing their memories,
and I know they like hearing mine.
I don't want them to be afraid.
so it is,
and will be
cheesecake
on October 14th.
for Alex.
so that they remember.
because I won't forget.